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PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 2:01 am 
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I can't believe I've actually reached the point where I'm posting in forums asking for advice, but whatever. So, I am interested in this girl for possible dating activities. However, she has just very recently gotten out of a very bad relationship, and feels like she's "not ready" for a relationship. I've told her how I feel and she's said that she's just not ready to think about that sort of thing yet. Now, does this mean the truth, that it's just too soon? Or is it a nice way of saying no? Or what? And any advice on what to do from this point?

Edit: Upon CoM's advise, I have changed the concept of this topic. Seemed like a good idea. Because yes, woman advise from a bunch on Nintendo nerds is a good idea. :P

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Last edited by Morte_The_Skull on Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 2:54 am 
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Women are hard to read. So, I don't even try.

You'll find a girl someday, and if it's anything like my luck, it'll just happen and then next thing you know you'll be crazy about em. If she was hurt in the past and says "thanks but no thanks" then, eh, her loss, right? Honestly, I've heard every excuse imaginable. And maybe she is just hurt and needs some time to heal, or maybe she's just trying to brush you off and not seem like a bitch. But anyone who wouldn't jump at an opportunity to date you or me or anyone here is undeserving of our love.

Maybe it's just cuz I've finally thought about all the bullshit I've gone through fruitlessly for women in the past. I think I'm just finally thinking clearly. Love's never come my way when I go poking around for it, asking people I already know as friends or whatever out. I just sorta randomly fall into it with a near stranger, and get to know them by dating. Not sure if that's how it ussually works for everyone else, but that's how it's been working for me so far.

So, my advice: fuck em. If they say no, then let sleeping dogs lie, and persue someone else.

Although, I'd look at your trends in past relationships, see how those started, and if this sorta thing ussually works out, then, hey, go for it. If it isn't working like this, then try something else, try a different approach to dating, ya know?

Not sure if I'm being any help or just rambling, but, um...yea. Good luck, man.

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For someone who uses the ":3" emoticon way too much you're a scary motherfucker.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 1:16 pm 
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Yeah, I see what your saying. Thing is me and her are pretty good friends, so I see her fairly often. So, I think if the opportunity arises, I'll be able to take it. I just get the feeling if I act too soon it will kinda turn her away because she'll get freaked out that I'm like, obsessive or something (she has a "friend" like that already), and if I act too late someone else will snatch her up.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 1:27 pm 
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Yea, a huge problem is always timing. If she just got off a shitty relationship, she might not wanna even think about anything like dating for awhile, so, who knows. Thing is, though, there isn't really any sort of rule of thumb about when to ask her out, etc. Maybe someone else can help on here you out with those details, or at least some advice on when. Good luck, though.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 5:04 pm 
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Morte_The_Skull wrote:
I can't believe I've actually reached the point where I'm posting in forums asking for advice, but whatever. So, I am interested in this girl for possible dating activities. However, she has just very recently gotten out of a very bad relationship, and feels like she's "not ready" for a relationship. I've told her how I feel and she's said that she's just not ready to think about that sort of thing yet. Now, does this mean the truth, that it's just too soon? Or is it a nice way of saying no? Or what? And any advice on what to do from this point?


Mistake: telling her how you "feel".

It was a nice way of saying "no". Sorry, dude.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 5:17 pm 
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there are actually very rare occasions where that works, fallout. for the girls that dont like arrogant cockyness, is the best thing to do... but like i said, such girls and situations are pretty much 1 in a million. she may be one of them..... however, odds are she's not. its a very small chance that youll get one that doesnt like the arrogant approach that fallout always suggests. though possible, keeping those odds in mind are causing me to side with fallout quite a bit. however, the bad relationship thing may be true and just may be throwing me off on which of the 2 types she is... but i have a feeling she's the arrogant loving type.

I say instead of asking her to date you, you TELL her to date you. And then demand sammiches.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 11:38 pm 
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I don't think it's cockiness or arrogance that gets em, it's confidence, but the easiest and fastest way to convey that...is through cockiness

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Also, really hope the soundtrack CD for the movie is the stuff from the actual movie, because this might be the first soundtrack I've actually bought from a movie since like...fucking Pokemon The First Movie. Yeah, I bought it, I was like 12 when it came out, big whoop, wanna fight about it?


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 11:57 pm 
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Blackman! wrote:
I don't think it's cockiness or arrogance that gets em, it's confidence, but the easiest and fastest way to convey that...is through cockiness


Bingo.

But be careful about being there right after she's out of a relationship. If you're her shoulder, then the pool is closed. You'd think compassion would turn them onto a guy, but no. That just makes you their amusing little guy buddy. DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN!

If all else fails, use fire.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 12:09 am 
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It seems to me that she doesn't want to be hurt anytime soon, so I'd say get to be good friends to her, and try to go on 'outings' (not dates). Then, later, tell her that you still feel the same way about her, and see what she says then.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 2:09 am 
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Soruja wrote:
Blackman! wrote:
I don't think it's cockiness or arrogance that gets em, it's confidence, but the easiest and fastest way to convey that...is through cockiness


Bingo.

But be careful about being there right after she's out of a relationship. If you're her shoulder, then the pool is closed. You'd think compassion would turn them onto a guy, but no. That just makes you their amusing little guy buddy. DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN!

If all else fails, use fire.


Eh, normally that would be true, but she is a rather unusual (in a good way) girl. And she rather resents people who use other people as a "shoulder". I can't really pull off cocky, the relationships I have gotten I've used my Woody Allen style "charmingly nervous" thing I do. And idk, I think she wouldn't want me to be an ass or really arrogant because that's how her ex was.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 2:50 am 
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ok now she MIGHT be one of the "1 in a million" that i was talking about, but theres still some doubts.

if you are really THAT serious about dating her, wait it out. for a month or 2. get a better idea of exactly what she is looking for, whether its the usual cocky, or the unusual... un..cocky? ..... you know what i mean. on top of that, itd give her time to get over the past relationship. not waiting and jumping right into it, providing the bad relationship thing wasnt just an excuse to not date you, will only end badly.

however, if you feel you CAN do without her, move on, at least for now. find someone else. if you feel you can do without someone who is relatively unclear about what she means, then go on with life.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:26 am 
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I probably should stop trying to give dating advice, since my relationship now started with a joke gone terribly awry.

But...

Don't let her forget that you're on deck.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 2:00 pm 
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child_of_marvel wrote:
It seems to me that she doesn't want to be hurt anytime soon, so I'd say get to be good friends to her, and try to go on 'outings' (not dates). Then, later, tell her that you still feel the same way about her, and see what she says then.


"That's amazing! I still feel the same way about you!"

;D

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 5:32 pm 
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Fallout wrote:
child_of_marvel wrote:
It seems to me that she doesn't want to be hurt anytime soon, so I'd say get to be good friends to her, and try to go on 'outings' (not dates). Then, later, tell her that you still feel the same way about her, and see what she says then.


"That's amazing! I still feel the same way about you!"

;D

:lol: :lol: :lol:

as funny as that response is, what CoM is saying is the best way of telling whether or not this girl is the type of girl I keep mentioning. She may say shes ready for a relationship. then you do her hard. but odds of that are small. she may have the reaction fallout had, except hopefully less sarcastic... in which case fallout and the others were right. and if she IS that sarcastic, forget her. dont even bother trying to go on with friendship. but for some reason i doubt shes as sarcastic as fallout.

basically, if a girl already knows how you feel about her and gives a reason that you cant quite tell is bullshit or the truth, back off a bit, give it time, and bring it up again. the second time around will make what she meant the first time much clearer. And many will say telling a girl how you feel is a bad idea, but if she already knows, i dont see how bringing it up again can hurt.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:38 pm 
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Eh, well, actually I talked to a friend of mine who had talked to her and she's (note: I cannot spell 'definitely' correctly) not interested. It's fine though, she is a cool friend. Topic may be closed, unless someone sees a relavent reason to keep posting here.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:40 pm 
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OBJECTION!


This could theoretically become the official woman advice thread?

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:41 pm 
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hmmm.... that would keep this forum from being flooded with woman advise topics. okay

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:45 pm 
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Just change advise to advice and I'll be on board.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:47 pm 
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YAY! I had a good idea!

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:53 pm 
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Yeah, but you're a woman so we can't trust anything you say in a woman advice topic. :D


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:54 pm 
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Haha, well, I'm bi, so does that count?

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:12 pm 
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no, you still bleed for five days and don't die..no reason to trust you at all

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Nameless88 wrote:
Also, really hope the soundtrack CD for the movie is the stuff from the actual movie, because this might be the first soundtrack I've actually bought from a movie since like...fucking Pokemon The First Movie. Yeah, I bought it, I was like 12 when it came out, big whoop, wanna fight about it?


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:13 pm 
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NEVER TRUST A BI. period.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 11:32 pm 
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BlackHeart wrote:
NEVER TRUST A woman. period.

Fixed

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 12:15 am 
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Blackman! wrote:
no, you still bleed for five days and don't die..no reason to trust you at all

damn. i wish i saw this thread earlier. beat me to it, blackie....

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