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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 6:07 am 
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S1eepy wrote:
Soruja wrote:
fludbucket wrote:
Im thinking about expressing how I feel.


No.

i won't necessarily agree, but i won't disagree either.

look at it this way: you know how you feel. your a man; that's just part of how you function. you know where you stand on something. of course you realize this is subject to change, but for the moment you know where you stand.

she is a woman; how she feels about something or where she stands is constantly in flux. she never really knows from one moment to the next. of course to what degree is just as variable as anything else, however, my experiences have shown me that indecisiveness is an all too common trend in the feminine gender. this indecisiveness would seem to be in direct relation to not being able to fully decide how they feel about something. again; there are always exceptions, but as far as averages are concerned this would appear to be the case.

Yes.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 9:22 am 
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She has flat out told me that in her culture the only appropriate way to court a girl is to make it well known to her parents what you are doing. IE get her flowers where her parents can see it. She even explained that I would have to court her family to court her. (from mild research this seems to be a normal thing in her culture)

Like I know how to play the indifferent asshole. She has even criticized guys that she used to know for doing that. I dont know, were still talking till 5 am every night. Im going to travel 4 hours to see her next week. I was just thinking flowers and a date. Something simple. I think I could strike now, I almost want to question her cuz on it but that seems like the worst move so I am going to avoid it.


Some brief facts:

She lives on the other side of the country
She is moving close to me next month
She is leaving korea in 8 months
She calls me, and texts me randomly (very rare for a girl to do this to me if im not her boyfriend)
I have met her family, she has told me about her cultures courting ritual
Her cuz (older sister esq relationship) told me that she likes me, and I saw her blush.

So is flowers and a date too much?

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 10:35 am 
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fludbucket wrote:
So is flowers and a date too much?


by no means.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 11:06 am 
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As long as you don't come off as a wuss and own your feelings you'll be fine. I think I said it here already, but saying things like "when you do [x] I feel [y]" is an entirely different thing from "When you do [x] you make me feel like [y]" Just leave out the "you make me" and you'll instantly seem that more secure in yourself. If the girl is into you you can get away with saying anything as long as you're the one in control.

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Also, really hope the soundtrack CD for the movie is the stuff from the actual movie, because this might be the first soundtrack I've actually bought from a movie since like...fucking Pokemon The First Movie. Yeah, I bought it, I was like 12 when it came out, big whoop, wanna fight about it?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 1:32 pm 
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Blackman! wrote:
As long as you don't come off as a wuss and own your feelings you'll be fine. I think I said it here already, but saying things like "when you do [x] I feel [y]" is an entirely different thing from "When you do [x] you make me feel like [y]" Just leave out the "you make me" and you'll instantly seem that more secure in yourself. If the girl is into you you can get away with saying anything as long as you're the one in control.

cross referencing complete.
this man speaks truth.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 5:52 pm 
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my ex gf's brother lives in south korea, with a korean wife and little half korean kids. apparently peeps are pretty racist there? all i know is kimchi is motherfucking delicious. A date and flowers sounds really nice, sure beats having to beat up her dad or something.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 2:57 am 
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Just some general advice to everyone here. If you've got a girl that you really love, don't just break into the habit of saying "I love you." You can say it as often as you like, but what does it really actually mean? It's just words. It's like a period at the end of a sentence if you use it too much, it just loses its meaning.

Take the time, and actually explain to her deeper reasons for why you love her.

I, um...I actually moved my girlfriend to happy tears tonight from something I said.

....Now if we get married, I'm gonna have to fucking top that for the vows. Fuck. :cookieshmm:

But, basically, make your girlfriend know that you appreciate her. Don't just take shit for granted. If you really do love someone, tell them why, and how much they mean to you. Speak from your heart. You don't need to buy shitty flowers or anything, saying something straight from your heart with enough passion that you feel for this person, that's a gift that will last with them a lot longer.

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For someone who uses the ":3" emoticon way too much you're a scary motherfucker.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 11:05 am 
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I prefer fucking them to tears.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 11:24 am 
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I got bann3ded!!1
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Soruja wrote:
I prefer fucking them to tears.

That, with your avatar, is probably the most frightening statement I have ever read.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 1:21 am 
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So I'm not quite sure how to approach my current situation. I got out of a relationship I'd been in for two years last May, and the breakup was pretty hard on both of us, but overall necessary. I'm just recently really feeling like I can move on, like it's something in the past I can look at without still clinging to parts of it. I don't know if that makes much sense.

Anyway, the thing is, shortly after the breakup, a female friend of mine and I started hanging out a bit more. At the time I felt like what I was feeling around her was just due to me being emotionally dependent after getting out of a relationship, and I respect this girl enough that I didn't want to try to start anything as a rebound, plus I figured it would be a bad move anyway because I would just be trying to replace my ex with her. After a few weeks of us hanging out and having a really good time, she moved to South Carolina (I'm in Illinois), so, I mean, in theory that's that.

Except it's not really, because she and I have been talking for like, hours every day since then. And before anyone says it, it's not "friend zone" type talking all the time, it's like, very much a strong friendship, but also with a LOT of noticeable sexual/romantic tension on both of our parts that neither of us has really been acknowledging because, I mean, she's in South Carolina, and on top of that there's I think a general worry that if some sort of romantic endeavor were to fail we wouldn't be able to be as good of friends as we are, which seems likely. And she hasn't been talking to me but still dating douchebags and complaining about them to me, so I very much don't get a "friend zone" vibe - in fact since we've been talking so much she's seemed noticeably less predisposed to find a new douchey boyfriend in SC, which makes me think there's a connection there.

But, it's seeming inevitable that one of us is going to eventually have to address the fact that we very clearly have feelings for each other, and when that happens I don't really know how to handle it. I really like this girl, and it's been long enough that I'm confident this isn't just my loneliness after a breakup talking. Like, I'm the type that's never really believed in a long distance relationship, but honestly she makes me feel like maybe it is something worth trying.

As of now we flirt a lot and both she and I have sort of made vague references like her saying the other night "if you were in town I'd be very tempted to kiss you" (or something like that) that lead me to believe that this isn't just "for fun" flirting. So I mean, basically we both know the other is interested, we both know the other knows that we are interested, and I think we're basically both in the same exact boat of not knowing how to handle it.

I don't want to come on too strong, or to look like a wuss by just being like "WELL I FEEL LIKE ____ FEELINGS FEELINGS FEELINGS :coookieesssss: ". My thought process has been that I want to push this tension between us until it reaches a point that it very much has to be acknowledged, and then go from there so it's not so much me trying to get something going as it is a situation that has arisen. I guess my question is, how would I go about pushing this? And, logistically, how retarded is trying to pursue a relationship? I'd be able to see her very rarely, only when I can get a train ticket...but I don't know. She's really cool, and she makes me feel happy in a way I haven't felt in a long time, and I think she really might be worth all the hassle of a long distance relationship, at least until I can work something out where that's not the case.

So, woman advice thread. Gogogogo.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 10:22 am 
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you can do the "wussy" "I FEEL ____ FEELINGS FEELINGS FEELINGS" thing, but here's the thing. If you're not physically touching her while talking, you're gonna look like a scared wussy ass bitch of a pussy. Standing away while talking about your feelings, even if it's three inches, is exponentially less powerful than you saying the exact same thing while having some sort of physical contact.

My suggestion? Strap on a pair of balls, be a man, and talk to that girl in person. Be your best self, but keep the physical contact consistent, and do it as much as you can. Be animated when you talk and brush here and there to "accidentally" touch her. If she steps back, she's probably not into it yet, if she stays where she is, she's comfortable, if she returns or steps in your golden. This isn't a manipulation thing. You're just gauging her interest at that point. Sounds like you two are ok, but as I've stated in the past, as long as the girl is into you, you can say whatever the hell you want and she'll eat it up. Just keep the physical contact in there, and keep it up. Touch is a very powerful motivator.

I'm gonna stop here before I start getting into lectures and shit...

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Nameless88 wrote:
Also, really hope the soundtrack CD for the movie is the stuff from the actual movie, because this might be the first soundtrack I've actually bought from a movie since like...fucking Pokemon The First Movie. Yeah, I bought it, I was like 12 when it came out, big whoop, wanna fight about it?


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 11:43 am 
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Errm, I think you may have missed the bit in my post where I mentioned that she's 900 miles away. She moved to South Carolina last summer. Seeing her in person is, sadly, somewhat unfeasible at the present point in time. Otherwise I totally agree with your post though, Blackman. :coookieesssss:

I mean, more seriously though, I DO agree with what you're saying. Physical intimacy is key, and if nothing else I need to do what's possible to compensate for the fact that, as of now, that's just not possible. I have her address, and I know that she's pretty into silly vaguely romantic gestures, so I've been considering writing her a letter. Not like, a "BE MY GIRLFRIEND Y/N" letter, just like, generally I think writing to her rather then calling/texting/facebook-ing all the time is more intimate in ways that appeal to her sensibilities.

If something did happen between us, I feel confident we'd find a way to resolve the distance thing. She's living with her parents right now and hates it; she's actively trying to find a way to get her own place. So her current situation is very temporary, I'm hoping.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 12:07 am 
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So at work today I was seeing how many people were going to see a group movie next week. I started talking to Alexandra (aka Lady Alex aka LA aka Hollywood) and I inquired about her monthly rent since she lives in a 1 bedroom studio and I've been looking. She let's me know then after we talk for about 20 minutes she says "When my lease is up I'm kinda interested in a roommate." We talk for a few and that becomes a plausible reality.

Positives:
-She is really cool
-Her favorite things are anime, movies, video games, and cats. There may be more but I know those are all up there. She has went to copious midnight launches over the past few months.
-She is very attractive
-We get along great and have a very similar since of horrible humor. (abortion jokes, rape, whatever. It's all funny)
-It would financially ease both of us

Negatives:
-She has a boyfriend who is such a control freak and emotionally high school that it's creepy. Dude kinda sorta basically hates me because I went to lunch with her once, in the work break room. He doesn't work there. He has to talk to her every lunch break, or break, etc etc etc. Just real bad. He thinks that all his girlfriends cheat on him and has accused her of doing so before. I don't know how the fuck that would go if her and I lived together. Like...I am pretty laid back most of the time. I wouldn't want to deal with that.

-I would totally fuck her hard (even if it is not infact always right to do)

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 10:59 am 
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move in, sit back, don't deal with it, wait for captain ass hat to step all over his own shit, make sure you call bullshit when you see it, be patient and profit.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 11:57 am 
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Shove it in her poop-chute.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 1:53 pm 
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your signature has a way of making every suggestion you make look like a bad idea.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 1:02 am 
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S1eepy wrote:
your signature has a way of making every suggestion you make look like a bad idea.


Ahh, now I see the reason behind it!

Umm... Yeah, move in. I see a future post in the "So this happened today" thread concerning her break up and the re-bound sex that turns into your new relationship.

Either that or a psychotic episode involving a late-night visit by her boyfriend. Buy a tazer, or a pit-bull, or both.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 1:13 am 
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Well, shit. This is kind of a thing to actually look at the pros and cons pretty heavily. Choosing to move in forces some odd hands to some extent. You can't date someone you live with. Sure you can move in with someone you date, but totally not the other way. Too many complications with too much on the line.

Granted, honestly, if you live together for like 6 months and still find eachother awesome it is probably going to go well. I dunno. Shit. Hopefully we'll have a few more conversations than the one that ended with "Yea, I'll have to have a serious talk with michael (her boyfriend) about the situation first." She was also the one who brought up the idea of us being roomies.

so....who knows. But it seems pretty win-win. Although ground rules could piss one party (the boyfriend party) off. Simple things like: "If you aren't here, he shouldn't stay over 2+ hours waiting for you." "He doesn't touch my shit."...what you would assume would be simple stuff.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 5:18 am 
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Bogey wrote:
Well, shit. This is kind of a thing to actually look at the pros and cons pretty heavily. Choosing to move in forces some odd hands to some extent.

then stop floundering and force them.

Bogey wrote:
Granted, honestly, if you live together for like 6 months and still find eachother awesome it is probably going to go well. I dunno. Shit. Hopefully we'll have a few more conversations than the one that ended with "Yea, I'll have to have a serious talk with michael (her boyfriend) about the situation first." She was also the one who brought up the idea of us being roomies.

then let her have that conversation with him. don't make it sound like you don't already know how he's going to react. that plays into your favor.

Bogey wrote:
so....who knows. But it seems pretty win-win. Although ground rules could piss one party (the boyfriend party) off. Simple things like: "If you aren't here, he shouldn't stay over 2+ hours waiting for you." "He doesn't touch my shit."...what you would assume would be simple stuff.

better suggestion: don't set them as rules. let them be unspoken laws implicit of common decency. if he goes however far you deem as too far; turn it into leverage. deceit and manipulation are two entirely different thing. manipulation can be done conscientiously.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 7:41 pm 
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S1eepy wrote:
Bogey wrote:
Well, shit. This is kind of a thing to actually look at the pros and cons pretty heavily. Choosing to move in forces some odd hands to some extent.

then stop floundering and force them.

Bogey wrote:
Granted, honestly, if you live together for like 6 months and still find eachother awesome it is probably going to go well. I dunno. Shit. Hopefully we'll have a few more conversations than the one that ended with "Yea, I'll have to have a serious talk with michael (her boyfriend) about the situation first." She was also the one who brought up the idea of us being roomies.

then let her have that conversation with him. don't make it sound like you don't already know how he's going to react. that plays into your favor.

Bogey wrote:
so....who knows. But it seems pretty win-win. Although ground rules could piss one party (the boyfriend party) off. Simple things like: "If you aren't here, he shouldn't stay over 2+ hours waiting for you." "He doesn't touch my shit."...what you would assume would be simple stuff.

better suggestion: don't set them as rules. let them be unspoken laws implicit of common decency. if he goes however far you deem as too far; turn it into leverage. deceit and manipulation are two entirely different thing. manipulation can be done conscientiously.


Yup.

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i almost didn't want to do it at first, but then i remembered where i put my balls.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 5:44 pm 
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Wait, I started this topic? Huh.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:01 pm 
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the problem you are having is that women don't make sense

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Nameless88 wrote:
Also, Gimp, I can see your dick from my house


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 2:02 pm 
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LOCK THE THREAD.

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2012 2:09 pm 
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reply of the year.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 21, 2012 4:53 pm 
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I got bann3ded!!1
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why did it take 54 pages to solve this problem :cookieshuh:

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