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 Post subject: I feel funny.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 3:45 am 
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Incoming depressing.



My wife's uncle, so I guess he was my uncle too now by marriage, Harry had been traveling between nursing homes and hospitals for the last 10 years or so due to an EXTREME case of muscular dystrophy. About 20 or so years ago he was a construction-type worker for the city (at least I think it was the city) and there was an accident involving a co-worker falling into the sewer. There were some very nasty chemicals being used, but Harry jumped in after him to attempt a rescue. He managed to retrieve his coworker, but the man died shortly after. Harry has been on a slow decline (slow at first anyways) until he got to the point a few years ago where he couldn't do anything except blink and change the angle his eyes were looking.

We heard today that things were going for the worse, so we packed up an overnight case and headed down to where he was staying. We spent some time with Harry's wife and son before he passed away at 11:59 pm, April 1st.

I've lost relatives and friends before, but I've never been in the room, or even in the same zip code when it happened. I watched Harry die. I thought it would affect me more than it did, but I think that after such a long time of not being able to do anything more than think and feel (all his senses were undamaged, so he could still hear / see / feel everything) that it might have even been a relief, not only for him but for his family. I'm not sure what to think of it at this point, it's just really depressing.

Goodbye Harry. I wish I could have gotten to know you when you were still capable of communication.

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 Post subject: Re: I feel funny.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 1:18 pm 
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LocrianDm wrote:
Incoming depressing.



My wife's uncle, so I guess he was my uncle too now by marriage, Harry had been traveling between nursing homes and hospitals for the last 10 years or so due to an EXTREME case of muscular dystrophy. About 20 or so years ago he was a construction-type worker for the city (at least I think it was the city) and there was an accident involving a co-worker falling into the sewer. There were some very nasty chemicals being used, but Harry jumped in after him to attempt a rescue. He managed to retrieve his coworker, but the man died shortly after. Harry has been on a slow decline (slow at first anyways) until he got to the point a few years ago where he couldn't do anything except blink and change the angle his eyes were looking.

We heard today that things were going for the worse, so we packed up an overnight case and headed down to where he was staying. We spent some time with Harry's wife and son before he passed away at 11:59 pm, April 1st.

I've lost relatives and friends before, but I've never been in the room, or even in the same zip code when it happened. I watched Harry die. I thought it would affect me more than it did, but I think that after such a long time of not being able to do anything more than think and feel (all his senses were undamaged, so he could still hear / see / feel everything) that it might have even been a relief, not only for him but for his family. I'm not sure what to think of it at this point, it's just really depressing.

Goodbye Harry. I wish I could have gotten to know you when you were still capable of communication.


Yeah, I feel it's often a relief, and you don't have to feel bad about that.

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 Post subject: Re: I feel funny.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 9:44 pm 
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LocrianDm wrote:
he passed away at 11:59 pm, April 1st.

Seems he went out with a sense of humor, at least.
That's me trying to be humorous in the interest of improving your mood, as opposed to just being a dick.

I've never experienced the death of anyone even remotely close to me. My grandfather's mental and physical health is deteriorating rapidly, so I suppose it'll just be another year or so before I finally see what it's like. He was always a really sharp, quick, funny guy, so it's been rough to see him lose that. He's definitely aware of it, and I can only imagine how shitty that's been for him. So I suppose relief is a good way to put it. It seems that in situations like this, the afflicted party is prepared. I feel like my grandfather is ready to go and he wants everyone around him to be ready too.

Seems like Harry was ready, and he got to go out surrounded by the people he cared about, who were also ready (as ready as one can be for such things), which seems like the best-case scenario.

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 Post subject: Re: I feel funny.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 10:24 pm 
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I didn't know Harry, so I don't know what kind of person he was, and I feel like anything I can say here would be just me needlessly guessing at who he was and trying to make you feel better.

But, if it was me, I'd be glad that my extended family was surrounding me in my final hours. If all I could do was look and think, I think my last thoughts would be that my family was there for me. Hell, even if you're just married into the family, you're making his niece very happy, and for you to be there for her when he was passing, I'm sure he was happy for that.

Send my love to the family, too, since you see them much more than me. And if you want to hang out or something, just give me a call, I'll try to cheer you both up.

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 Post subject: Re: I feel funny.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2011 10:50 pm 
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Yeah, I went in and introduced myself to him, said I was married to his niece and that I wished I could have known him before this all happened.

They took the oxygen mask off (it wasn't doing anything at that point anyways) to make him more comfortable right before he want. His son said that he loved him and Jen said something about what a good person he was for trying to save his friends life. He gasped a couple times and was gone within 10 seconds of that.

And yeah, pretty much everyone is agreed that it's more of a relief. If he had went before he had gotten this bad the sentiments would have been different, but his life must have been a hell for the last couple years.

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