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 Post subject: y so homo
PostPosted: Tue Mar 18, 2014 8:08 pm 
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Angry Star
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so i like men now. and women. obviously.

feel free to ask inappropriate questions and make inapproriate jokes :coookieesssss:
oh and yeah im single now. poly? something. i've discovered the joy of casual sex what can i say

also i guess i might be genderqueer? i need some time to work that out. :redv:

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 9:55 am 
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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:08 am 
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You mentioned poly and casual sex. Are you just not in a committed relationship or are you actually having a few committed relationships?

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Wed Mar 19, 2014 3:30 pm 
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Snifit wrote:
You mentioned poly and casual sex. Are you just not in a committed relationship or are you actually having a few committed relationships?

I have an odd relationship with Bea atm. BFFWB? i did say i'm single.
uhh committment means exclusivity doesnt it? Yeah no i'm not morman. the 'amory' part seems dependant on your definition of love and I don't know what love means to me. Bea is my solemate and the mother of my children - neither of us want to live together or share finances etc anymore, but neither of us is looking to replace the other either. we just want close friends. really close friends.
And we started the casual sex by swinging. we've done our own thing since we split.

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 12:40 am 
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i hope it does something for you. i can't say i've seen polyamory take anyone very far, but that's just what i've seen.

though; i'm probably the person the least interested in sex on this forum. if i'm having sex: i'll do so all day every day if that's the itinerary. but if i'm not: i could care less. there's a good chance i have some issues with my dopamine receptors.

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 1:04 am 
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S1eepy wrote:
i hope it does something for you. i can't say i've seen polyamory take anyone very far, but that's just what i've seen.


again - depends on your definition. i 'love' one person, and have no jealousy towards them being with others and vice versa. we identify as single. i have little to no family so i love my friends. i fuck my friends. seems pretty simple to me - i fuck multiple people, i make close connections with friends, and im not looking to share my responsibilities with or commit to anyone. i just don't feel that instinctual pull to partner up that everyone seems to have. beat and i were acting straight and monogamous for years and it didn't suit us.

how is this what we're talking about and not the fact that I love cock now and don't necessarily identify as a man?

edit:
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:met:

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 5:14 am 
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not identifying with something is far easier for me to grasp than identifying with something. i don't self-identify as male or female; let alone as a human. that's something external to me and that point of identification is much closer than my fingers or genitals. i just sort of am for the time being, and while it's no marvel that information can be recorded; that we can be aware of anything at all is a bit unsettling in the grand scheme of things.

"what the fuck am i?" has been a pretty frequent question in my life. much much more so than "am i This?" or "am i That?"

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 6:24 am 
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gimp wrote:
S1eepy wrote:

how is this what we're talking about and not the fact that I love cock now and don't necessarily identify as a man?



Seriously? I couldn't care less what you fuck as long as it is a consenting, human adult (or a park bench, or a plane, or a train engin, or a car). Other than that? Go nuts, stick yours in whatever orifice you want and vice versa. And as far as gender identity goes, you do remember Sanct, right? We already had this conversation :)

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 9:09 am 
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TheGuyFromAustria wrote:
gimp wrote:
S1eepy wrote:

how is this what we're talking about and not the fact that I love cock now and don't necessarily identify as a man?



Seriously? I couldn't care less what you fuck as long as it is a consenting, human adult (or a park bench, or a plane, or a train engin, or a car). Other than that? Go nuts, stick yours in whatever orifice you want and vice versa. And as far as gender identity goes, you do remember Sanct, right? We already had this conversation :)


That's my attitude. I got too many things going on to particularly care what gender people identify as, what things they wanna bone, if they're boning one thing or many things, if things are boning them, whatever.

Put your penis in whatever feels good, get rid of your penis entirely, get a second penis, throw a few vaginas into the mix, make up entirely new genitals, whatever. I don't care 'cause it's no big deal.

Just don't go start a shitty tumblr and become some stupid-ass Internet Social Justice Warrior. Whenever I see one of those blogs, my first thought is "this person needs a fuckin' hobby"

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 10:33 am 
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Napalm Man wrote:
TheGuyFromAustria wrote:
gimp wrote:
S1eepy wrote:

how is this what we're talking about and not the fact that I love cock now and don't necessarily identify as a man?



Seriously? I couldn't care less what you fuck as long as it is a consenting, human adult (or a park bench, or a plane, or a train engin, or a car). Other than that? Go nuts, stick yours in whatever orifice you want and vice versa. And as far as gender identity goes, you do remember Sanct, right? We already had this conversation :)


That's my attitude. I got too many things going on to particularly care what gender people identify as, what things they wanna bone, if they're boning one thing or many things, if things are boning them, whatever.

Put your penis in whatever feels good, get rid of your penis entirely, get a second penis, throw a few vaginas into the mix, make up entirely new genitals, whatever. I don't care 'cause it's no big deal.

Just don't go start a shitty tumblr and become some stupid-ass Internet Social Justice Warrior. Whenever I see one of those blogs, my first thought is "this person needs a fuckin' hobby"


And with "fuckin' hobby" you mean a hobby that's mainly concerned with fuckin', right?

Anyway, reading waaaaay to much post humanism SciFi really demolishes the notion of some sort of fixed sexuality. That's the way we see it and that's the way it should be :D

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 10:57 am 
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¬_¬ how supportive

you do realise that not identifying as a man or a woman is the definition of genderqueer. Emily isn't genderqueer she is a woman. Rejecting the binary notion of gender as being male or female is what it's all about. Has anyone seen the yellow submarine movie? Chief Blue Meanie is gender fluid.

here we go

Image

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I'm glad you all think it's straight forward because I'm confused as hell.

edit: in case you didn't notice, i've gone from the least persecuted demographic to one of the most - it's not all as simple as what you wear and who you fuck. i live in a very violent town. i literally cannot leave my house dressed this way.

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 11:28 am 
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If you want to identify as male, then identify as male. If you want to identify as female, then identify as female. If you want to identify somewhere inbetween then identify somewhere inbetween.

Wear whatever clothes you feel comfortable in. You wanna wear a full-on dress with a male blazer, then knock yourself out.

Participate in activities you enjoy doing. You wanna do "chick" things? Go do chick things.

Bang what you're attracted to.

Don't think I'm not supporting you - if there's something specific you need in terms of support then let me know and I'll see what I can do. I think that goes for anybody on this forum.

EDIT: Just saw your edit lemme type up a response for that

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 11:31 am 
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It really just looks like you're going to tell me about this all-organic coffee shop that I wouldn't get or understand, followed by a band that I totally have to hear because they were around in the 90s during Nirvana but no one gave them any mind. Luckily for you, they're just now reuniting and playing a super secret club that isn't secret but no one talks about it so people rarely ever go. Shit is chill, though.


our immediate acceptance is weird, right?

edit: so there was an edit. Be who you want, if that societal structure is violent towards it, work towards (and try to) get the fuck out of that place so you can do you. Granted, I know you have a child to consider and all of that, but being in that location may not be that great for you at all.

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 12:21 pm 
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i have two kids. :facepalm: why do i post here again?

i thought there might be a discussion in this, not just aggression masquerading as acceptance.
I'm glad i didn't bare my soul here.


edit: to catch you up to date, i was almost murdered in the street in front of my house about a year ago and I'm moving out in a week.

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Image i dreamed that I fucked my cat. She had big human arms and force fed me the medicine I've been force feeding her for the last two weeks. Then she forced me to sit on her lap so she could pet me to assure me she still loves me.
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Last edited by gimp on Sat Mar 22, 2014 9:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 12:48 pm 
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I think you starting the topic with such declarations that we all thought this was more of a 'coming out' thing than a 'discussion' thing. What precisely did you want to discuss? The binary notion of gender as societal construct? I've got no problems discussing that.

Gender, and to be clear we are discussing gender and not sex, is a wholly arbitrary thing used to keep up social norms and rules that really don't apply any more. I just don't think the majority of people have really sat down to consider 'gender.' I think gender can be, and in most respects IS, just as fluid as sexuality. There's no "I'm male" or "I'm female." We all contain aspects of both masculine and feminine characteristics, it's just a question of to what degree. It started as a running joke amongst friends here but as time went by my fiance and I realized that in our relationship I am 'the girl' while she is 'the guy.' Please don't think of that in sexual terms because that's not how it is. In the classic relationship structure people think of, I'M the one who is more emotional, more affectionate, more nurturing, and in many typical ways more feminine. Again, NOT in a bedroom sense. I honestly have no problems with that. I've never been into traditionally masculine things. I've never liked sports. I've never liked competition. I've never bought into strength as the be all end all. I've always been more emotionally in tuned. I've always had closer friendships and relationships to females over males. Now I'm not quick to call myself female gendered but again I honestly haven't sat down to really consider it. Truthfully it's just never come up. Of course one of the benefits of knowing a lot of queer pagan people is gender doesn't get brought up often because no one cares. I don't think I'm female. I definitely feel male. As far as gender though, well I definitely lean a bit more towards feminine than masculine but gender is still arbitrary.

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 12:58 pm 
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it's not as simple as flicking a switch. i hate labels more than all of you. i wanted to discuss my coming out. i thought perhaps you'd be interested in details - i dropped some pretty juicy hints - and I'm struggling to make sense of how I feel about my gender & I have to know how I feel before I can express it. Pretty clear you aren't the mildest bit curious about where I fall in the gender spectrum or the steps it took to reach this point after 25 years as a straight cis male.

It's also pretty clear you guys are uncomfortable about discussing this, and things like appearance. You don't want to see me experiment - fine. I don't need you trying and failing to be polite. I'll continue to talk to strangers on the genderqueer message board.

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 1:07 pm 
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I don't think anyone has been faking nice. I wasn't really jumping into questions about it because you said you were unsure of everything. I figured you would want to get your handle on things first. If you want to talk now, let's talk now.

What made you question everything? I know lots of people have gay or bi fantasies so finding an attraction to men isn't that surprising but where did the genderqueer aspects come in? What mad you reach this point?

I mean I was talking, joking, and hanging out with a bunch of gender neutral, queer, pagans and that made me think about it but what happened with you?

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 1:14 pm 
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What set of pronouns do you prefer? Will you be using a different name? Is there any particular ways you'd like to be treated differently by us? Do you have a boy crush? A gender queer crush? ;)

I remember this, but I will ask for the rest... Why were you attacked? What the fuck is up with that? D: I hope you're doing ok since the shit.. it can fuck a mind up.

<3 for you

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 1:50 pm 
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u don't even lift tho

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 2:17 pm 
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Let me take a second here to apologize for not (initially) taking this thread more seriously.

With the post titled "y so homo" and this text:

gimp wrote:
so i like men now. and women. obviously.

feel free to ask inappropriate questions and make inapproriate jokes :coookieesssss:
oh and yeah im single now. poly? something. i've discovered the joy of casual sex what can i say

also i guess i might be genderqueer? i need some time to work that out. :redv:


-- I didn't realize you were looking for serious discussion.

Which is totally my bad - after all, this is the "Serious Discussion" forum. So, I'm sorry for my original flippancy.

I'm guessing Fallout is doing the same thing I initially did (see above).

I had no idea where you live (besides the general continent of Australia) and that it was hostile towards your lifestyle. I don't read every post on this forum, so I was pretty sure you had one kid, I had no idea you had two. I'm really about as much a stranger to most of the people here as you are to the trans forums.

I have one thing to say, it's pretty minor in the whole scheme of things, but I hope you do take it seriously:

gimp wrote:
straight cis male.


Just don't use terms like "cis" - just don't. Tumblr has ruined it, and whenever I see that phrase get dropped, I immediately think of the folks who say crap like "die cis scum," folks who claim they have multiple people occupying their heads and all that, people who get upset about "fat privilege" and immediately stop taking them seriously. The Tumblr Internet Social Justice Warriors, if you will.

Is it wrong of me to do that? It most certainly is. But I'm not the only person who has these associations, and if you want to have real, meaningful discussions with people outside the trans/genderqueer/whatever community (and heck, probably even in it), you need to be above/separate from those crazies.

On top of that, most people have never even heard that term, so you're alienating discussions with them.

Now, onto actual discussion - I am genuinely curious as to what life events have happened here that led up to this. I wish you had just opened up with that, instead of asking us to ask you about it. I'm guessing I'm not gonna learn what the story here is, though.

EDIT: More about the term "cis" and whatnot. There are folks on Tumblr who say stupid shit like it's not statutory rape if the aggressor is a woman and shit like this or garbage like this

Whether you like it or not, the second you drop the term "genderqueer" or "cis" or any other vocab, you're going to have an association with these sorts of people. That's a fact.

So it's imperative you keep yourself above all of that. One of these ways is via the language thing, but another one is, you just absolutely positively can't get upset at people on the internet for not understanding you. Just don't do it. Ever.

If I say something and you think "holy shit this guy is being a terrible person," ok, there's a 99% chance I didn't mean to be a terrible person. And the converse here is true, everybody else on this forum. Gimp, when I read your posts on this thread, I feel like you're being one of those self-proclaimed "social justice warriors." But the reality is, I'm misunderstanding you.

And I mean, think about it - of course we don't understand what kinds of stuff you're going through. I've never questioned my gender before. You know that, we know that. But if you get upset at us for not understanding you, I'm just gonna, y'know, continue not understanding, and again, I'm gonna think of those Social Justice Warriors. You can't expect us to even come close to understanding, so why get upset when we don't?

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 5:09 pm 
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Yeah, the last thread that someone came out on here (Sanct), I really had no idea what to add to the conversation. I mean, if it was something that I had any experience with, I could relate a lot more. I mean, I guess I have some more experience with it this time around, because I was kind of in the closet for awhile about liking plus sized women, and felt like a weirdo for finding what most of society agree is "hot" to be completely "meh" to me.

Sexuality is weird. But, hey, fuck it, if you embrace the aspects of you that seem weird and just let that weirdness out and don't try to stifle it, and you'll be a much happier person. Sounds like it will be a fulfilling experience for you, so I'm happy for you.

Not really sure what else to say.

Also, I kind of have to agree with Napalm. The word "Cis" has been ruined by tumblr. I think I'm a pretty progressive person, but I just mentally check out when I hear people rattle off a bunch of social justice buzz words like that. Maybe it's because I dated a girl that was into that stuff, and I feel like sometimes if I talk to people into that whole social justice thing, just because I'm a straight white male, I'm just going to get shit on and lectured about privilege or something, and I'd rather just avoid it.

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 5:48 pm 
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this thread sure is going well

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 7:49 pm 
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look guys labels are fucked and i'm sure i feel that stronger than you do. there are limitations to language, give me a break. 'cis' is a latin prefix, it's the opposite of 'trans'. It means 'on the near side'. I am 100% using the correct language. & I don't use tumblr guys - maybe you should give it a try. I'm not about to stop using GLBQTI terms and it's ridiculous to ask that of me or anyone.
Snifit wrote:
What made you question everything?
Uh inescapable personality trait? I am a skeptic - discovering a deeply hidden mental block is somewhat of a challenge
Snifit wrote:
I know lots of people have gay or bi fantasies so finding an attraction to men isn't that surprising but where did the genderqueer aspects come in?
i dont really know how to answer that. presumably some time before i realised my legs look hotter in bea's jeans than hers do. I've always been attracted to androgyny specifically and I've always identified with that and not with being a man. Have you seen my ex?
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What set of pronouns do you prefer?
TY <3. I suggest 'they/them' if you are worried about causing offense since this is a bit odd (and I'm working it out still), but I actually really like being called both he and she in different contexts. At the moment I identify as gender fluid - if I'm coming across as feminine go right ahead and call me 'she/her' (that would be very flattering) and the same goes for the other way around. I don't think this stage will last long though... eg i see myself fluctuating second by second and being both at once rather than fluctuating day by day. I'm still comfortable being a man sometimes - nothing wrong with the 70s rock star styled SNAG persona I had going.
Sanctusorium wrote:
Will you be using a different name?
yes I think so. a little hard to accept that since i've been promoting 'dave quills' so hard. I'm hoping to come up with something genderless and a bit sci-fi.
Sanctusorium wrote:
Is there any particular ways you'd like to be treated differently by us?
Apart from the pronoun thing, nope. I want you jerks (you know i love you) to be completely honest if something I say or wear throws you off - i need practice for the real world.
Sanctusorium wrote:
Do you have a boy crush?
....his name's Rory.
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Sanctusorium wrote:
A gender queer crush? ;)
heh i've had a major one of those on beat for the last 5 years
Sanctusorium wrote:
I remember this, but I will ask for the rest... Why were you attacked? What the fuck is up with that? D: I hope you're doing ok since the shit.. it can fuck a mind up.
<3 for you
I promise I will answer this question. Thank you em. <3
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u don't even lift tho
me? yeah i do actually - that's part of what is so confusing for me. I can see myself both as a man and as something in between and they are somewhat mutually exclusive styles. There's a limit to how big I can get and still pull off neotenous androgyny. I don't know how to feel about facial hair anymore either.

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 8:18 pm 
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I'm not asking you to not use terms like cis.

I'm telling you they've been ruined by idiots, and you won't get taken seriously if you use them.

You're free to use whatever terminology you want, just understand that people won't take what you say seriously, They'll assume you're another tumblr idiot.

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 Post subject: Re: y so homo
PostPosted: Fri Mar 21, 2014 8:44 pm 
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Location: Quills, Australia
Napalm Man wrote:
I'm not asking you to not use terms like cis.

I'm telling you they've been ruined by idiots, and you won't get taken seriously if you use them.

You're free to use whatever terminology you want, just understand that people won't take what you say seriously, They'll assume you're another tumblr idiot.

and i'm saying you're acting all butthurt for no reason

IMO the important distinction is that I was describing myself, as everybody is free to do with any terms they choose. If i were to label someone else that would be a different story.
the reaction i get 99% of the time is "cisgender? what's that?". why are you reading teenage angst blogs? i bet they're wapanese too. :roll:

i just have to figure you don't like the label because you consider it the norm - and you aren't used to being labelled. What would you prefer? Normal people?

I'm not pissed off btw, I'd just rather this line of conversation died asap. I'm not talking to strangers I'm talking to you guys.

_________________
Image i dreamed that I fucked my cat. She had big human arms and force fed me the medicine I've been force feeding her for the last two weeks. Then she forced me to sit on her lap so she could pet me to assure me she still loves me.
Nameless88 wrote:
Also, Gimp, I can see your dick from my house


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