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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2008 1:42 am 
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Thwomp
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You know, Plutarch used to write often of the great and mysterious Chainsaw Juggler. Hickapoy Indians documented the famed exploits of the great and mysterious Chainsaw Juggler in their smash banana-dye cave paintings. But never has the great and mysterious Chainsaw Juggler been more famous than during the filming of the "Texas Chainsaw Juggler Massacre". This next song's about a chainsaw juggler. It's called..."The Chainsaw Juggler". Rock out, dude.

Whatever happened to the Chainsaw Juggler?
He was a good friend of mine.
And how did you learn to kiss like that?
Said the man to his German shepherd.

It's not polite to talk when your mouth
Is full... of big bumblebees.
But it's quite okay to love your mom,
As long as you don't get her pregnant.

Everybody!

Na na na na, nay nay nay nuh, nay nay nay nay...
Na na na na, nay nay nay nuh, nay nay nay nay...
Na na na na, nay nay nay nuh, nay nay nay nay...
There's something wrong with this song!

I ain't Oscar Meyer, but I'll give you my baloney!

Cross my heart, yes. Stick a finger in my eye, no.
But wife, I'm telling the truth...
I've slept with your sister, your mom and your dad,
And the second-best sex was you.

Oh, Rub-A-Dub-Dub, three men in a tub...
Need I say more?
Jack Sprat could eat no fat...
So he divorced her!

Everybody!

I know that there's something wrong with this song,
I just don't know what it could be.
I know that there's something wrong with this song,
I just don't know what it could be.

This song is an Italian love ballad written entirely in Swahilian tongues...

Which celebrates the much famed Genoan romanticism of the early 17th Century Postmaster General.

But it also delves pretty deeply into the pre-proletariat rise of the Venetian stamp-collecting regime under Benito Mussolini.

And I think it was the great Greek philosopher Hysterectomy who said, "To be perfectly honest, I'm lying".

Whatever happened to the Chainsaw Juggler?
He was a good friend of mine.
I heard he died, but nobody cried,
Instead they all chopped off their arms!

Oh well, when in Rome...

Non compos mentis persona non grata
In vino veritas ad hoc. [*HAAACK-TOOI!*]
E Pluribus Unum, if to err is human,
Then boy, am I glad we're in charge!

Oh, a Buddhist, a Muslim, a nun and a Jew
Were stuck in a hot-air balloon.
It suddenly popped, and though they prayed as it dropped,
It proves that God hates us all!

Everybody!

Na na na na, nay nay nay nuh, nay nay nay nay...
Na na na na, nay nay nay nuh, nay nay nay nay...
Na na na na, nay nay nay nuh, nay nay nay nay...
There's something wrong with this song!

And as the wise man stood on top of the hill, naked and disgusting and dirty and... naked... he shouted down to the angry
villagers far below. He said...

"You may have won the battle, but I'm... I'm out of ammunition!"

He said, "Life isn't a bowl of cherries, its... it's... ...okay, maybe it is."

He said, "It's not the size that counts, it's the woman that counts the size!"

He said, "You can't sue yourself for writing an unauthorized autobiography!"

He said, "If at first you don't succeed, well then maybe you're a god damn loser!"

He said, "It's not whether you win or lose, it's whether *I* win or lose."

He said, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water... unless it's floating face down."

He said, "If you can't beat 'em, let ME beat 'em!"

He said, "You can tell a lot about a man by how he strangles you!"

And lastly he said,

"Fight for peace! Make love, not war! Unless you love to kill!"

Right!

And as they stormed the mountain, and kicked him to death, he said one more thing. He said...

[simultaneously:]
"Ow! Stop kicking me! Ow! Not in the head! Ow! Ow, dammit, stop it! Stop kicking me!"

"Ow! Oooh! Aaah! Oh, not there! You're killing me! Oooh! Aaah-hoo-haa! Uhh! Oooh! Not the testicles!

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! NOT IN THE FACE! NOT IN THE FACE! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"Ow! Not with the kicking! Bad! Not Good! Full of Fail! Stop! Dude! C'mon!

"Ouch! Oh God! Ow!... No! Ow! Not the cleets! Not the cleets!... Why do your shoes have spikes on them?!"

"Oh! Stop kicking me! Ow! No! Aah!... Stop kicking me! No, seriously, that hurts! Ow! Aah!"
[ AAAAAHHHHH!!!]

And as the Martian sat and waved from his driver seat window of his hovering Martian spaceship on his way back to Jupiter, he offered these parting words of advice. He said,

"Do yourself a favor and STOP THIS GOD DAMN SONG!!!"

But we couldn't...

Because we still didn't know...

Whatever happened to the Chainsaw Juggler?
He was a good friend of mine.
I heard he died, but nobody cried,
Instead they all chopped off their arms!

Well, that sure makes sense, he was loved by his fans,
But tell me, how did he die?
Nobody knows, they found him alone
All bloody with his arms by his side.

Everybody!

I know that there's something wrong with this song,
I just don't know what it could be.
Na na na na, nay nay nay nuh, nay nay nay nay...
There's something wrong with this,
something wrong with this,
something wrong with this,
...there's something wrong with this...

[the song falls apart in a dozen different directions. The following is heard amidst the chaos:]


Pardon moi, Dr. Pinkerton, I think there's something askew with this musical number.

Filbert, evidently there is, and you're to blame! Now fix it!

Okay I'll go ahead and fix it right now, [CRASH!] Oh, Farganargle! I didn't mean for that-aaahhh!!!...

Filbert! Filbert, come back here! FILBEEEERT!!!...


Hey, there's nothing wrong with this song? What's wrong? What's wrong with this song? Waaah!... Yes Buffy, there is something wrong.

Why would you juggle chainsaws? Why wouldn't you juggle pins, or bowling balls? Even fire would be safer!

[sampled]
The slide whistle is not funny. Don’t do it.
[sampled]
4, 5, 6, 7, you dumbass!

What is your...
Fail.
...major malfunction...
BROOKLYN!
...numbnuts?!
Meow!
Do not want.
Jugular?
Four Postmen dot com!
There's something... WRONG!!!

Man, you guys really gotta work on that ending!


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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2008 5:46 pm 
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Angry Star
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Posts: 8559
Location: My house
Fire in the disco!
Fire in the... Taco Bell!

Fire in the disco!
Fire in the... Gates of Hell!

(Don't ya wanna know how we keep starting fires)
It's my desire (It's my desire) It's my desire

Don't ya wanna know how we keep starting fires
(It's my desire) It's my desire [It's my desire]

DANGER! DANGER!
HIGH VOLTAGE!

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PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2008 5:23 am 
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VAN DAMMAGE
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Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 9:12 pm
Posts: 9336
Location: Gotham City
YOU wa SHOCK
ai de sora ga ochite kuru
YOU wa SHOCK
ore no mune ni ochite kuru

atsui kokoro kusari de tsunai demo
ima wa muda da yo
jama suru yatsu wa yubisaki hitotsu de DOWN sa

YOU wa SHOCK
ai de kodou hayaku naru
YOU wa SHOCK
ore no kodou hayaku naru

omae motome samayou kokoro ima
atsuku moete iru
subete tokashi muzan ni tobichiru hazu sa

ore to no ai wo mamoru tame
omae wa tabidachi
ashita wo miushinatta

hohoemi wasureta kao nado mitaku wa nai sa
ai wo torimodose

(instrumental)

YOU wa SHOCK
ai de yami wo kirisaite
YOU wa SHOCK
ore no yami wo kirisaite

daremo futari no yasuragi kowasu koto
deki wa shinai sa
hikitsuke au kizuna wa hanarenai nido to

ore to no ai wo mamoru tame
omae wa tabidachi
ashita wo miushinatta

hohoemi wasureta kao nado mitaku wa nai sa
ai wo torimodose

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PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2008 9:28 am 
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Angry Star
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Posts: 8668
wow you even posted the second half of the lyrics...nice

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Also, really hope the soundtrack CD for the movie is the stuff from the actual movie, because this might be the first soundtrack I've actually bought from a movie since like...fucking Pokemon The First Movie. Yeah, I bought it, I was like 12 when it came out, big whoop, wanna fight about it?


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PostPosted: Fri May 30, 2008 10:49 pm 
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Posts: 7000
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes


*note* In looking up these lyrics, I nearly killed myself due to discovering that Limp Bizshit has a cover of this song.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2008 5:30 pm 
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NESkimo International Affairs moderator
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Joined: Sat Sep 27, 2003 1:41 pm
Posts: 7800
Location: Spittal - AUSTRIA
Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you

Well I'm frickin' sick and tired
Of turning on the news
And seeing the religious right's
Ungodly fight to take our right to choose
When to bear our children
Who to love and how
Education and protection
If we're just practicing for now
So dubya look obey a book
If that's what works for you
But I don't tell you how to pray
So don't tell me how to screw

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you

So you’re screaming bloody murder
'Bout the taliban regime
For subjugating women
And being too extreme
And basing legislation
On some ancient holy book
Does that sound a bit familiar?
Here's a mirror, have a look

And as for the ten commandments
They need one more at least
Thou shall never cover up
The acts of pervert priests
How'd they let that happen
Unless they just abhor us
Well anyway it adds
Another layer to the chorus

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you

So you'll execute a person
And protect a single cell
But mercy-kill the terminally ill
And you're goin' straight to hell
I don't know much about
The word of God
Far be it from me
But I can tell you what it ain't
Hypochristianity

I am not anti-Christian
Before you grab a rope
There is beauty in religion
And joy and love and hope
We're all looking for an answer
Some colossal cosmic cause
But who the fuck are you
To turn your views into my laws?
It's just believers in the bible
That would have abortion banned
Anti-choice agnostics?
I could count’em on one hand
And as for killing babies
I have but one retort
If someone raped your daughter George
You'd beg her to abort

And if some young girl from your church
Shows up with child or some infection
‘Cuz you taught her what a horrid sin
It was to use protection
One day you'll face the pearly gates
And whatchu gonna say
When that long-haired Jewish peacenick
Sends your ass the other way sayin’

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
I've had it up to here
With all the biblibile you spew
Keep your Jesus off my penis
(at least that's what I would do)
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you
That's if'n you want me to

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 11:27 pm 
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I got bann3ded!!1
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Posts: 21774
TheGuyFromAustria wrote:
Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you

Well I'm frickin' sick and tired
Of turning on the news
And seeing the religious right's
Ungodly fight to take our right to choose
When to bear our children
Who to love and how
Education and protection
If we're just practicing for now
So dubya look obey a book
If that's what works for you
But I don't tell you how to pray
So don't tell me how to screw

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you

So you’re screaming bloody murder
'Bout the taliban regime
For subjugating women
And being too extreme
And basing legislation
On some ancient holy book
Does that sound a bit familiar?
Here's a mirror, have a look

And as for the ten commandments
They need one more at least
Thou shall never cover up
The acts of pervert priests
How'd they let that happen
Unless they just abhor us
Well anyway it adds
Another layer to the chorus

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you

So you'll execute a person
And protect a single cell
But mercy-kill the terminally ill
And you're goin' straight to hell
I don't know much about
The word of God
Far be it from me
But I can tell you what it ain't
Hypochristianity

I am not anti-Christian
Before you grab a rope
There is beauty in religion
And joy and love and hope
We're all looking for an answer
Some colossal cosmic cause
But who the fuck are you
To turn your views into my laws?
It's just believers in the bible
That would have abortion banned
Anti-choice agnostics?
I could count’em on one hand
And as for killing babies
I have but one retort
If someone raped your daughter George
You'd beg her to abort

And if some young girl from your church
Shows up with child or some infection
‘Cuz you taught her what a horrid sin
It was to use protection
One day you'll face the pearly gates
And whatchu gonna say
When that long-haired Jewish peacenick
Sends your ass the other way sayin’

Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
I've had it up to here
With all the biblibile you spew
Keep your Jesus off my penis
(at least that's what I would do)
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you
That's if'n you want me to

OH. MY. GOD.

FUCKING GENIUS.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 6:57 am 
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Angry Star
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Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2005 8:29 am
Posts: 5674
Location: Quills, Australia
King Crimson - Elephant Talk

Talk! It's only talk!
Arguments,
Agreements,
Advice,
Answers,
Articulate Announcements.
It's only talk.

Talk! It's only talk!
Babble!
Burble!
Banter!
Bicker Bicker BICKER!
Broo-ha-ha!
Balderdash!
Bally-hoo!
It's only talk.
Back-talk.

Talk talk talk! It's only talk,
Comments, cliches, commentary, controversy, chatter,
Chit-chat-chit-chat-chit-chat,
Conversation,
Contradiction,
Criticism,
It's only talk.
Cheap talk!

Talk, talk, talk, it's only talk!
Debates, Discussions,
These are words with a 'D' this time.
Dialogue,
Duologue!
Diatribe,
Dissension,
Declamation!
Double-talk. Double-talk.

Talk talk! It's all talk!
Too much talk, small talk, talk that trash!
Expressions!
Editorials!
Explanations.
Exclamations!
Exaggerations!
It's all talk.
Elephant talk?
Elephant talk?!
Elephant talk?!?!

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Image i dreamed that I fucked my cat. She had big human arms and force fed me the medicine I've been force feeding her for the last two weeks. Then she forced me to sit on her lap so she could pet me to assure me she still loves me.
Nameless88 wrote:
Also, Gimp, I can see your dick from my house


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 11:05 am 
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Angry Star
Angry Star
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Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2005 8:29 am
Posts: 5674
Location: Quills, Australia
Okkervil River - Another Radio Song

Sit back, no song is written
It's nothing you thought of yourself
It's just a ghost, came unbidden
To this house

This infection gets stronger every year
This seed in the water of your tear
There is no escaping it

This seed in the water of your tear
The way an unborn baby's ear
Unfolds in your belly

This infection gets stronger every year
This direction of a tear rolling down your cheek
And there is no escaping it

There is no escaping
The thing that is making
It's home in your radio

Bless this tiny alley
We have fallen from tall buildings
We have fallen through the air
Into a garden sweetly smelling of the softest
Sleeping flowers now they sit under the sidewalk
Now they're waiting for the shining of some future sun to show us
All that is your beauty
Oh and all that brings you pleasure
I could sigh into your hide
And say I hope I'm here forever
But Black Sheep Boy with your lovers
With your list of favourite pillows
With your list of missing children
With the wall where you drew windows
Overlooking hidden gardens
Cut apart by jagged mountains
Climbing up into the air
And crumbling down into a fountain
Where the water waits forever
Like a quiet distant treasure
When you rise up to recover
When you leave this tiny alley
When you meet me in the garden
With your horns all hung with cedar
Every spirit brushing past me
Brushing past them in the ether
Scream all this is window dressing
All you are is flimsy curtains
Watch you flame up with a word from us
And won't know that you're
Burning!
Burning!
Burning!

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Image i dreamed that I fucked my cat. She had big human arms and force fed me the medicine I've been force feeding her for the last two weeks. Then she forced me to sit on her lap so she could pet me to assure me she still loves me.
Nameless88 wrote:
Also, Gimp, I can see your dick from my house


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 5:06 am 
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Angry Sun
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Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2003 6:47 am
Posts: 3181
I've seen the land beyond these borders where the corporations rule
And they spin their lies and they globalize and the working man's their tool
And the streams are so polluted that their banks are bleak and bare
And the babies all are born deformed and the smog is everywhere
And the workers' wages dropped thirty percent in just one year
Now the greedy bastards want to bring that situation here

And you called upon me brother and you asked what could I do
And I told the truth dear brother, when I spoke these words to you:
I will stand beside your shoulder when the tear gas fills the sky
And if a national guardsman shoots me down I'll be lookin' him in the eye
And if I will wash their pepper from your face and go with you to jail
And if you don't make it through this fight I swear I'll tell your tale
And I will stay with you in the prison cell in solidarity
And I will not leave that cursed room 'til you walk out with me
For we the people fight for freedom while the cops just fight for pay
And as long as truth is in our hearts we're sure to win some day
I will not falter when the iron fist comes out of the velvet glove
I will stand beside you brother and defend this land I love...

http://bombsandshields.blogspot.com/200 ... 06the.html

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:11 pm 
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I got bann3ded!!1
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Joined: Sat Sep 11, 2004 11:07 pm
Posts: 21774
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

Look at me, look at me
hands in the air like it's good to be
ALIVE
and I'm a famous rapper
even when the paths're all crookedy
I can show you how to do-si-do
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to "De Colores"
And "I'm Proud to be an American"
Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cuz, look:

I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome

I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone

Look at me
Look at me
Just called to say that it's good to be
ALIVE
In such a small world
All curled up with a book to read
I can make money open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I can design an engine sixty four
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers shakers and producers
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the systems
I can do anything with no assistance
I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone
I can split the atoms of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule

Look at me
Look at me
Driving and I won't stop
And it feels so good to be
Alive and on top
My reach is global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure
I can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let'em all die in exasperation
Have'em all healed of their lacerations
Have'em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don't like'em and
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command
I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite
and I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope
and I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handle bars
No handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 1:16 am 
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Angry Star
Angry Star
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Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2004 4:33 pm
Posts: 7000
Ah,
The name of this song is uncle sam goddamn
It's a show tune but the show aint been written for it yet.
Were gonna see if tony Jerome and the band can maybe work this shit out for me
And straighten me out right quick
I like it so far man

Yeah

Come on, lets go

Welcome to the united snakes
Land of the thief, home of the slave
Grand imperial guard where the dollar is sacred

Come on lets do this shit for real now

Smoke and mirrors, stripes and stars
Stoner for the cross in the name of god
Bloodshed, genocide, rape and fraud
Written to the pages of the law, good lord

The (inaudible) and latch key child
Ran away one day and started acting vile
King of where the wild things are, daddy's proud
Cause the roman empire done passed it down

Imported and tortured the work force
They never healed the wounds or shook the curse off
Now the grown up goliath nation
Holdin open auditions for the part of david, can you feel?

Nothing can save you, you question the rain
You get rushed in and chained up
fists raised but I must be insane
Cause I cant figure a single goddamn way to change it

Welcome to the united snakes
Land of the thief, home of the slave
Grant imperial guard where the dollar is sacred
And power is god

Welcome to the united snakes
Land of the thief, home of the slave
Grant imperial guard where the dollar is sacred
And power is god

We all must bow to the fact were lazy
The fuck you obey me and why do you hate me
Only two generations away from the
Worlds most despicable slavery trade

Pioneered so many ways to degrade a human being
That it cant be chains to this day
Legacy so ingrained in the way that we think
We don't need to wear chains to be slaves

Lord that's a sinful display
The overseers even got raped along the way
Cause the children cant escape from the pain
And theyre born with the pores and this hatred in their veins

Try and separate a man from his soul
Youll only strengthen him and lose your own
Well shoot that fucker if he walk near the throne
Remind him that this is my home (now im gone)

Welcome to the united snakes
Land of the thief, home of the slave
Grant imperial guard where the dollar is sacred
And power is god

Welcome to the united snakes
Land of the thief, home of the slave
Grant imperial guard where the dollar is sacred

Hold up, gimme one right here

You don't give money to the bums
On the corner with a sign, bleeding from their gums
Talking about you don't support a crackhead
What you think happens to the money from yo' taxes

Shit the governments an addict
With a billion dollar a week kill brown people habit
And even if you aint on the front line
When the master yell crunch time you right back at it

You aint look at how you hustling backwards
And the end of the year add up what they subtracted
3 outta twelve months your salary
Paid for that madness, man that's sadness

Whats left get a big ass plasma
To see where they made dan rather point the damn camera
Only approved questions get answered
Now stand your ass up for that national anthem

Welcome to the united snakes
Land of the thief, home of the slave
Grant imperial guard where the dollar is sacred
And power is god

Welcome to the united snakes
Land of the thief, home of the slave
Grant imperial guard where the dollar is sacred
And power is god

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 9:06 am 
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Posts: 8668
Benefit - If I Owned A Midget
(verse 1)
Life's got me mad
But if I had a midget I'd be glad
To watch him jump around on my nintendo powerpad
He'd have a big head short legs and long torso
The name that I give my pet midget is little Gordo
I'd teach him tricks like backflips and side kicks
When company came over he'd perform and get tips
While I'm eatin at night, in the kitchen he'd be able
To get the food scraps that I threw under the table
If my midget was ever bad and acted enraged
Then I'd take him to the bathroom and put him in his cage
But If he kept acting up and really made me sick
I'd hang him upside down and poke him with a stick
Little Gordo would be good most of the time though
He'd like to wear a helmet and run around yelling Kaiyo
I'd take him for walks in the park on the weekends
And if he saw other midgets he'd say Can we be friends
He'd only need a 3 foot coffin when he was dead
And he'd be in the guiness book for the world's biggest head
What a funny little fellow, but don't call him a shrimp
Or he'll attack your leg cause Gordos a tough gimp
He'd have a pogo ball that he'd bounce on for hours
And dirty little fathead Gordo would'nt take showers
When Halloween came, he wouldn't be a chump
Gettin all the candy goin round as a tree stump

(scratching/chorus)
Midget is a midget
Midget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Midget
Midget is a midget
Hey you guys- Word
Midget is a midget
Midget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Midget
Midget (wo-wo-wo-wo-word) is a midget
Like a midget in a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes

(verse 2)
Sometimes my friends would chase Gordo with a gun
It be fun
Because midgets wobble when they run
They're so close to the ground and so easy to kick
They're so slow in the head and so easy to trick
Gordo could do somersaults his special thing
At the fair I would make him enter mudwrestling
Sometimes he'd wear stilts and pretend to be tall
Then I'd kick him over- and then i'd laugh at him fall
Silly little Gordo, just be yourself
I'd put wood on his head, and he'd just be a shelf
He'd do funny little dances but that's irrelevant
At the beach Gordo got attacked by pelicans
He had a girlfriend once, but she was an ogre
It didn't last long cause he couldn't fuck her sober
Gordo had a problem, Gordo wet the bed
so i'd make him wear diapers on his ass and his head
He'd have to clean up his own cage himself
And if he lost a little weight he'd be a keebler elf
He'd really be something, my mangled little munchkin
Plus his head would be larger then any big pumpkin
This perfect little fool would make a perfect footstool
Sometimes I'd kick him in his head and say "bitch be cool"
I'd have a great life, I'd be happy I know
If I only owned a little pet midget named Gordo
(scratching/chorus)

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Also, really hope the soundtrack CD for the movie is the stuff from the actual movie, because this might be the first soundtrack I've actually bought from a movie since like...fucking Pokemon The First Movie. Yeah, I bought it, I was like 12 when it came out, big whoop, wanna fight about it?


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:17 pm 
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I got bann3ded!!1
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WIN.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 5:06 pm 
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Posts: 9147
Location: One Day's Brain Flight From Earth
Welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain
I hope that you've enjoyed your stay so far
I see you've met my assistant Scarface
His appearance is quite disturbing
But I assure you he's harmless enough
He's a sweetheart, calls me master
And he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing them to me

I'm so into you
But I'm way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I'm crazy
I'm not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn't kill you yet

I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don't like it
What's with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don't like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

I'm so into you
But I'm way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I'm crazy
I'm not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn't kill you yet

Picture the two of us alone inside my golden submarine
While up above the waves my doomsday squad ignites the atmosphere
And all the fools who live their foolish lives may find it quite explosive
But it won't mean half as much to me if I don't have you here

You know it isn't easy living here on Skullcrusher Mountain
Maybe you could cut me just a little slack
Would it kill you to be civil?
I've been patient, I've been gracious
And this mountain is covered with wolves
Hear them howling, my hungry children
Maybe you should stay and have another drink and think about me and you

I'm so into you
But I'm way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I'm crazy
I'm not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn't kill you yet
I shouldn't kill you yet
I shouldn't kill you yet

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 5:11 pm 
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Posts: 7000
Bogey wrote:
Welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain
I hope that you've enjoyed your stay so far
I see you've met my assistant Scarface
His appearance is quite disturbing
But I assure you he's harmless enough
He's a sweetheart, calls me master
And he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing them to me

I'm so into you
But I'm way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I'm crazy
I'm not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn't kill you yet

I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don't like it
What's with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don't like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

I'm so into you
But I'm way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I'm crazy
I'm not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn't kill you yet

Picture the two of us alone inside my golden submarine
While up above the waves my doomsday squad ignites the atmosphere
And all the fools who live their foolish lives may find it quite explosive
But it won't mean half as much to me if I don't have you here

You know it isn't easy living here on Skullcrusher Mountain
Maybe you could cut me just a little slack
Would it kill you to be civil?
I've been patient, I've been gracious
And this mountain is covered with wolves
Hear them howling, my hungry children
Maybe you should stay and have another drink and think about me and you

I'm so into you
But I'm way too smart for you
Even my henchmen think I'm crazy
I'm not surprised that you agree
If you could find some way to be
A little bit less afraid of me
You'd see the voices that control me from inside my head
Say I shouldn't kill you yet
I shouldn't kill you yet
I shouldn't kill you yet

One of his best.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:19 pm 
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Fucking Sandals!
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Posts: 5005
Location: Ego tripping at the gates of Hell (Minnesota)
Zimmer's Hole
The Vowel Song

[NATHAN EXPLOSION]

Hi I am Nathan Explosion, from Dethklok, um. . . and I've been asked to read a little public announcement, here we go.
Today, illit-cary-cy (illiteracy) is a very real porblem. . . uhhhm. . . here, uh, here are some statistics, I guess.
Ninety milli. . . mill lion. . . ninety mill lion US adults are funcinitually illiterite (functionally illiterate). . . uh, they can't read. They can't read anything.

Uhh this is taking so fucking long I can't believe this, I have things I need to do

We're. . . we are trying to do our part to rem-uhhh. . . remedy the situtuation. . . situation! That's what they're trying to say. . .

. . . um you know sometimes it's hard to jack off without reading something that gets you in the mood, so, you gotta read something like. . . something about knockers, sweaty knockers, bouncing, dangling in front of your face, you know, stuff like that. . .

Then, that's where reading comes in. Here is a song that's going to help you read, brought to you by Zimmer's Hole, and Nathan Explosion.

[ZIMMER'S HOLE]

A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes
Y are you wasting my air?
Why are you still here?
Why must I tolerate, no debate, eliminate!!!
A, E, I, O, U...SUCK....SUCK!!!

[NATHAN]

And that's about it uhh, oh yeah, a menu! Like, if you go to a restaurant, I mean. . . actually you can just order a cheeseburger, everybody's got a cheeseburger. You don't really need to use reading for that.



Best guest appearance ever.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:46 am 
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Posts: 72
Location: What it do, Maine
Whitechapel - Possession

Eyes are glaring red with a conscious set to kill
Nostrils flared and the eyebrows parallel
Thriving on the chaos and the suffering I have caused on you all
A dispute of man and diabolical beasts
How could one cipher such a malevolent being
I am certain of humanity's demise
Man will inspire the words of a new era of corruption
Now that I can control the orifice of mankind
I gladly inform, you're all in a world of shit
Coprophagia would be the only solution
Open your fucking mouth and ingest what you are
Silent you will remain while I invoke my presence on your world
Urges I must satisfy again and again
Inside a shell festering is the mind of a bastard child
Cover the earth with the blood of this lamb
We are the disease that spreads amongst this filthy race
Collect the dust of the ones who have fallen to the lies
It is your last resort to a wretched memory
Take this life for granted and hold it tight
For we have you all under control because
We are the disease
Man will inspire the words of a new era of corruption
God damn you all

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 11:52 am 
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Joined: Sat Sep 27, 2003 1:41 pm
Posts: 7800
Location: Spittal - AUSTRIA
A cold wind is blowing
Through the graves it is blowing
And it bares a poisoned tongue
And the foul breath of deceit

I am my fathers son
And his deeds
Cannot be undone... be undone

You trade in his blood
Writing your history
In the sacrifices of the dead

Where is the fighting man?
Am I he?
You would trade every truth
For hollow victories

Every empire will fall
Every monument crumble
Forgotten men who watch the centuries

Whose silent words
Rise up in betrayal
We will rise up in betrayal

Where is the fighting man?
Am I he?
You would trade every truth
For hollow victories

Every empire falls
And the earth to ashes turn
The lands of my birth
Shall be my tomb

The are the lands, the lands of my birth
Soon to be ruins, the ruins of my past
And when the sky should fall
The earth to ashes turn
Then you know they shall be my tomb

Where is the fighting man?
I am he
You would trade every truth
For hollow victories

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Next stop, making fun of platypus. It's a trollfari!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:22 pm 
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Fucking Sandals!
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Location: Ego tripping at the gates of Hell (Minnesota)
Fuckin great song :\m/:

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:08 pm 
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Posts: 12842
Location: Seattle, WA
In K Mart wardrobe
We waltzed across the water
Reading chinese magazines
Analyzing Himmler's dreams
In K Mart wardrobe

In K Mart wardrobe
Latin generals passed for ice-cream men
They combed their hair in two-way mirrors
Mustacioed sales girls carried spears
In K Mart wardrobe

Baby this is love
Discount coupons floated from above
Broiled chickens sang us
Love songs from a skewer
Have you ever been this close
To going down the sewer
In K Mart wardrobe

In K Mart wardrobe
We sifted through the rubble
Sizzling bibles wept in Swahili
That's the way it's gotta be
In K Mart wardrobe

In K Mart wardrobe
We made it to the water's edge
Where the dollar signs turned into stars
And dogs barked black noises at Mars
In K Mart wardrobe

Baby this is love
Discount coupons floated from above
Broiled chickens sang us
Love songs from a skewer
Have you ever been this close
To going down the sewer
In K Mart wardrobe

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 9:25 am 
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Posts: 14670
Location: Confirmed, Sending Supplies
They raved about Sloppy Joe
The latin labarrio
But Havana has a new sensation
He's really a modest guy
Although he's the hottest guy in Havana
And here's what he has to say

They call me Cuban Pete
I'm the king of the rhumba beat
When I play the maracas I go chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom

Yes sir I'm Cuban Pete
I'm the craze of my native street
When I start to dance everything goes chick chicky boom

The senoritas, they sing and how they swing with this rumbero
It's very nice, so full of spice
And when they're dancin they bring a happy ring the maraquero
Singin a song, all the day long

So if you like the beat
Take a lesson from cuban pete,
And I'll teach you to chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom

Si, senorita, I know that you will like the chicky boom chick
'Cause it's the dance of latin romance
And Cuban Pete doesn't teach you in a hurry like Authur Murry
You're now in Havana and there's always manyana

So senorita please
Take it easy, do it with ease
And you'll love it when you do the
Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 1:45 am 
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I got bann3ded!!1
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:D the mask

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:05 am 
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illblamesum1else wrote:
:D the mask


Desi Arnaz :mrgreen:

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illblamesum1else wrote:
Snifit is the King of Forever.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 7:53 pm 
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Posts: 12842
Location: Seattle, WA
I saw her coming in high heels
moving like a queen
A little sweet angel but deep underneath
a mean machine

You're lying in wait to make me a fool
you want me to bite
I'm gonna take the bait and the hunter for afters
I'll take you for a ride

I don't wanna play no games
cause I'm a bad bad boy-all around
Let me be your Titanic before you know what's going on
I may go down..

Fucking with fire-I'm coming to rock
got my rocket on fire and I take what I want
Fucking with fire-loaded and cocked
you never miss it until you've begun
with the hair force one

Don't make no mistakes,don't you miss out
on the hell of a time
I'm a real go-getter and there's no doubt
that down the line

I know what you want and I know what you need
your secret desire got the gloves of a man
the hands of a beast
and my pants on fire

And I don't wanna play no games
cause I'm a nasty bad boy-all around, around
Let me be your Titanic, before you know what's going on
I'm going down...

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