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 Post subject: lolworthy news articles
PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 7:49 pm 
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Panda attacks man who wanted a cuddle wrote:
BEIJING (Reuters) – A panda at a zoo in southern China attacked a student who snuck into its pen hoping for a cuddle with the endangered bear, state media said Saturday.

The 20-year-old male student surnamed Liu jumped over the fence at the zoo in the tourist city of Guilin, ignoring warning signs not to, Xinhua news agency said.

"The panda, named Yangyang, was wide awake. Apparently scared by the intruder, he bit at Liu's arms and legs," it quoted an unnamed worker as saying after zoo keepers managed to calm the bear and rescue Liu, the report said.

"Yangyang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him," Liu was quoted as saying from his hospital bed. "I didn't expect he would attack."

Scientists believe fewer than 2,000 giant pandas live in the wild in China.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081124/od_ ... VMvoWs0NUE

Ahahahaha!

Post more articles that you saw that made you lol

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 7:54 pm 
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I love how news articles always have some totally irrelevant fact pertaining to the subject of the article at the bottom of the page

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:09 pm 
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Seriously, haha.

I just love how this fucknut was like "I didn't think the wild aminal wood attack me cuz it's cuddly! :downswords: "

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:26 pm 
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http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/ ... 4-ONL.html
Surprises for everyone in Surprise! :awesome:

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Nameless88 wrote:
Also, really hope the soundtrack CD for the movie is the stuff from the actual movie, because this might be the first soundtrack I've actually bought from a movie since like...fucking Pokemon The First Movie. Yeah, I bought it, I was like 12 when it came out, big whoop, wanna fight about it?


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:57 pm 
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Blackman! wrote:
http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/11/24/20081124gl-nwvstabbing1124-ONL.html
Surprises for everyone in Surprise! :awesome:

I bet that "wheely" hurt! :buddy:

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:00 am 
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illblamesum1else wrote:
Blackman! wrote:
http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/11/24/20081124gl-nwvstabbing1124-ONL.html
Surprises for everyone in Surprise! :awesome:

I bet that "wheely" hurt! :buddy:


:lol: :lol: :lol:

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:07 am 
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BlackHeart wrote:
illblamesum1else wrote:
Blackman! wrote:
http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/11/24/20081124gl-nwvstabbing1124-ONL.html
Surprises for everyone in Surprise! :awesome:

I bet that "wheely" hurt! :buddy:


:lol: :lol: :lol:

credit to that has to go to my friend Jeff. i cant take credit for it, as much as i want to.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:44 am 
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illblamesum1else wrote:
BlackHeart wrote:
illblamesum1else wrote:
Blackman! wrote:
http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/11/24/20081124gl-nwvstabbing1124-ONL.html
Surprises for everyone in Surprise! :awesome:

I bet that "wheely" hurt! :buddy:


:lol: :lol: :lol:

credit to that has to go to my friend Jeff. i cant take credit for it, as much as i want to.


no

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 6:26 pm 
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Quote:
Ortega said a man came out of the rear-passenger door, stabbed Del Rio four times in the right arm and then took off with his backpack. Inside the backpack were a urinal container and a bandana.


Thats some awesome loot :lol:

edit:
wait... container?

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 9:17 pm 
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What, container?

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 9:21 pm 
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wasnt container one of the ones everyone already knew? along wih mattress and jacket?

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 9:29 pm 
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everyone knows them.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 11:24 pm 
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BlackHeart wrote:
everyone knows them.


I honestly don't. :?

/me fails

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 2:00 am 
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POAST MOAR. youll figure them out eventually.

especially if you talk about mattress and jacket and container.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 9:43 am 
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Truth be told, I only know jacket

EDIT - Wait, I got container

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 9:50 am 
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I honestly thought that was the best surprise, they stabbed a guy just to get some jugs full of urine, that must suck so much

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Nameless88 wrote:
Also, really hope the soundtrack CD for the movie is the stuff from the actual movie, because this might be the first soundtrack I've actually bought from a movie since like...fucking Pokemon The First Movie. Yeah, I bought it, I was like 12 when it came out, big whoop, wanna fight about it?


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 11:36 am 
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Nameless88 wrote:
Panda attacks man who wanted a cuddle wrote:
BEIJING (Reuters) – A panda at a zoo in southern China attacked a student who snuck into its pen hoping for a cuddle with the endangered bear, state media said Saturday.

The 20-year-old male student surnamed Liu jumped over the fence at the zoo in the tourist city of Guilin, ignoring warning signs not to, Xinhua news agency said.

"The panda, named Yangyang, was wide awake. Apparently scared by the intruder, he bit at Liu's arms and legs," it quoted an unnamed worker as saying after zoo keepers managed to calm the bear and rescue Liu, the report said.

"Yangyang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him," Liu was quoted as saying from his hospital bed. "I didn't expect he would attack."

Scientists believe fewer than 2,000 giant pandas live in the wild in China.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081124/od_ ... VMvoWs0NUE

Ahahahaha!

Post more articles that you saw that made you lol


everyone thinks pandas are nice and cuddly. they dont realize THEY WILL RIP YOUR FUCKING ARMS OFF"

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 11:58 am 
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can we fuck this secret word shit off now? please?

Nameless88 wrote:
Seriously, haha.

I just love how this fucknut was like "I didn't think the wild aminal wood attack me cuz it's cuddly! :downswords: "


it's not a wild animal. just sayin'.

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Also, Gimp, I can see your dick from my house


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 6:58 pm 
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Yeah, stick a lion in a cage, and it's still a wild animal. It's just a wild animal IN a cage. It can be released into the wild and survive out there. Even if this panda was born in a cage, it still has those instincts, and it could survive in the wild. Maybe I wasn't using the proper term for it, but it's still an animal that isn't like a house cat or some shit, you can't walk up to it and give it a tummy rub and have it eat from your hand.

Oh, also, Mildly lolworthy:
http://news.aol.com/article/skywatchers ... ace/260360

That's just fucking goofy.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:12 am 
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Man Says Wife Was Accidentally Shot During Sex

Quote:
SPRINGFIELD, Ohio -- A Tri-State woman is in critical condition Wednesday after police say her husband shot her while they were having sex.

Timothy Havens, 38, told Springfield police he was reaching for something on the nightstand when the pistol went off, hitting his estranged wife Carolyn in the upper chest.

~~~

This is isn't the first time there's been trouble for the Havens. Court documents showed Timothy served 60 days in jail for assaulting his wife and was ordered to go to anger management classes.

:awesome:

I guess he shot the wrong load...

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:21 am 
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...were they estranged before or after he shot her? :xmas_lol:

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:25 am 
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Nameless88 wrote:
Yeah, stick a lion in a cage, and it's still a wild animal.


no, it's not. your argument would then make the adjective redundant. yes there is a meaning of wild that equates to 'vicious', but that is not what the expression wild animal refers to.

BUT i can see your point: zoo animals are not domesticated. yes? yes.

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Image i dreamed that I fucked my cat. She had big human arms and force fed me the medicine I've been force feeding her for the last two weeks. Then she forced me to sit on her lap so she could pet me to assure me she still loves me.
Nameless88 wrote:
Also, Gimp, I can see your dick from my house


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 1:16 am 
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gimp wrote:
Nameless88 wrote:
Yeah, stick a lion in a cage, and it's still a wild animal.


no, it's not. your argument would then make the adjective redundant. yes there is a meaning of wild that equates to 'vicious', but that is not what the expression wild animal refers to.

BUT i can see your point: zoo animals are not domesticated. yes? yes.


Yeah, I think that's what I meant.

I mean that by sticking an animal in a cage, it's not going to be magically a nice, cuddly wuddly pet. In actuality, it'll be a pissed off animal in a cage.

I think I'm using "wild" as a synonym for "not tamed" or something.

Point being, the guy who jumped in a cage and got his ass kicked by the panda totally had it coming for thinking that the panda would be like a big overstuffed care bear or some shit.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 1:31 am 
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Nameless88 wrote:
Despite all it's rage it's still just a panda in a cage.

:awesome:

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 1:48 am 
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ahahahahah. :downsrim:

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